A Certain Confusion in the Heart

Bing Ying pondered for a moment before speaking. “The 1980s were a time that adventurers loved the most—a period where courage alone could create immense wealth. Xiao Huang, you're living in that era now. Perhaps life isn't prosperous, but it's full of vitality everywhere you look. Why not go out and explore that vitality? At the very least, you're in a much better position than I am. In our time, technology has advanced rapidly, but that's all there is. We're surrounded by tech, fierce and cold. We don't even need to eat; just drinking nutrient solution suffices. Here, the only goal everyone shares is the destruction of the insect race. Yet deep down, everyone knows the insects are endless—impossible to eradicate. So all I can do is follow the crowd, striving for the future by waging war against them. Despite the high-tech environment, every other aspect of life is barren and flavorless.”

At that moment, Du Wushuang appeared as well. “That's right, Xiao Huang. Why not make the most of your time? Of course, there's nothing wrong with taking it easy if that's what you want. But from what we know, in that era, if you just drift along, your descendants will have a hard time in the future. Even if you don't plan to marry, you can't spend your whole life in boredom, can you? Most importantly, I once heard someone say: If you want to be ‘a salted fish’—someone content to coast—you must first have the ability to afford it. Otherwise, you might just end up a dead fish in the hands of capital.”

Liu Xiang’er smiled confidently. “Xiao Huang, you should know—mortgages, car loans, children’s education—it’s all about money. And in the future, if you don’t have good conditions, your children will start out at a disadvantage. Now you have our group and a photographic memory—why waste such an opportunity? Others don’t have the chances we do. If you don’t treat this opportunity well, it’s a waste.”

Xie Yihuang felt that everyone made sense, but she still voiced her own confusion. “It’s not that I don’t understand all this. I just don’t know what I want to do with my life. I know that since I’ve become Xie Yihuang of this era, I should live well. But I just don’t know what I want to do in the future.

In my previous life, I was just an ordinary bank employee—a secure, stable job. But in this era, that mindset doesn’t seem to fit me anymore, and honestly, my nature is rather passive.”

Liu Xiang’er repeated, “Xiao Huang, I’ll say it again: If you want to coast, you must create the right conditions for yourself first. A ‘salted fish’ without resources is just a dead fish in the end.”

The phrase “a salted fish without capital ends up a dead fish” caught Xie Yihuang off guard. She thought of the news stories that circulated online in later years—someone controlled by capital, someone blacklisted by capital. Those stories, though niche, were numerous. She knew Liu Xiang’er was right. But her own nature…

Xie Yihuang replied weakly, “The main issue is my personality. I know Sister Xiang’er is right—without resources, you’re just a dead fish. But what am I supposed to do? I have a photographic memory, but I don’t think I have much emotional intelligence. That doesn’t suit me for civil service. I worked in a bank before, but I have no entrepreneurial experience. Business isn’t for me. Am I supposed to take the civil service exams?”

Liu Xiang’er laughed. “That is a question, but Xiao Huang, think carefully about what you want to do. Or go out for a walk, clear your mind. Sometimes, getting out and about can help you find the answer you’re looking for.”

Xie Yihuang agreed that her recent state was far from ideal, so she decided to go out for a while.

Xiezhang Village was close to the sea, so in the evenings, many people went out to forage on the shore. The tides here followed a regular pattern. The tide would rise during the day from noon to three o’clock, so for safety, most people went to the shore after four in the afternoon. At night, the tide came in from midnight to three a.m., so those who went to collect seafood in the morning usually set out after four, when the catch was freshest.

Xie Yihuang wanted to go foraging by the sea, but since she was young, she couldn’t go alone. So she decided to find an adult to accompany her. Her eyes lit up with an idea—she would ask her uncle, Qi Jianshe.

Her uncle, Qi Jianshe, was a fisherman, out on the sea every day to catch seafood and sell it. So it was safest to go with him. There would be no need to worry about her safety at the shore.

Of course, Xie Yihuang wouldn’t just go off without telling anyone. Before heading out, she needed to get her parents’ permission. So at dinner, she spoke up.

“Mom, Dad, school doesn’t start until the day after tomorrow. I still have tomorrow off. I’d like to ask Uncle to take me to the beach. I’ve been cooped up at home for a while and I’m feeling a bit restless,” she said earnestly.

Because of her childhood health issues—even though she was now perfectly healthy—her parents still couldn’t believe she’d made a full recovery. Most days, she was only allowed to rest at home.

Her mother thought for a moment before replying, “It’s fine to go with your uncle, but you must behave yourself.”

Xie Yihuang nodded. “I will. Besides, tomorrow my brother and sister have school, you two will be at work, and I’ll be home alone. So I’ll go to Grandma’s house and can go to the beach with Uncle. Then the day after tomorrow, I’ll happily go back to school.”

Her mother knew her brother’s skill in the water very well. Her only concern was her daughter’s health. “When you go, wear long sleeves so you don’t catch cold.”

Her father added, “Don’t go in the water. It’s still chilly, and you’ve only just recovered.”

At home, her parents definitely favored their elder son and daughter, but they loved their youngest as well. When there was something good to share, they tried to treat everyone equally, though there was always a little bias toward the eldest two.

For Xie Yihuang, as a mature soul, as long as she wasn’t mistreated, she didn’t mind much. As the saying goes, the heart is naturally partial. Besides, her parents had done their best to be fair.

The next day, after getting up, Xie Yihuang did some morning exercises in the yard. To avoid standing out, she kept it simple—just a few basic moves. Her parents saw her and said nothing. Exercise was good for her health, and they understood their daughter’s desire to be healthy.

In this respect, her parents were very open-minded. As long as what their children did didn’t cross their bottom line, they were always very tolerant.