Chapter 87: Old Li

Hearing Old Li speak like that, Cheng Shifei felt a surge of anger as well.

“Old Li, what kind of talk is that? I was only trying to help you out of goodwill, and now you’re blaming me?”

After these words, Cheng Shifei originally meant to turn and walk away immediately, but after only a few steps, he couldn’t help but look back and offer Old Li one last piece of advice.

“Do whatever you like, I won’t meddle in your business anymore. But for the sake of our old friendship, here’s my final word: In all the years the Jing Dynasty has stood, how many eunuchs have been like me? Not a single one! But let’s put that aside for now. Even if you do become a eunuch, do you really think you’ll make something of yourself?

“Look at the court today—any eunuch with a shred of status has spent decades clawing their way up in the palace. You’re already past thirty, nearly forty. Even if you have the talent, by the time you get anywhere, you’ll have lost all your teeth.

“When that day comes, don’t expect me to look after a eunuch in his old age. I’ve said what I can. Take care of yourself.”

After saying this, Cheng Shifei didn’t hesitate any longer and strode off.

Still, Cheng Shifei’s heart was heavy. He’d grown up rough on the streets, well used to the darkness in men’s hearts. Old Li, whom he’d met as a boy in a gambling den, was one of the very few who had ever treated him with genuine kindness.

That was why, when he heard Old Li had thoughts of entering the palace as a eunuch, Cheng Shifei had done everything in his power to dissuade him. Even Cheng, famed for being stingy as an iron rooster, had offered money outright to Old Li. But nothing he said could change Old Li’s mind, and this left Cheng Shifei bitterly disappointed.

As Cheng Shifei walked away, he understood that after today, whatever bond remained between him and Old Li would be severed, or at least would never be the same.

Watching Cheng Shifei’s figure recede into the distance, Old Li felt a pang in his own heart. There is no love without reason in this world. Old Li was a solitary man, with no parents above, no wife or children below, drifting alone in the vast capital, his wits his only resource.

Why had he treated the then-down-and-out Cheng Shifei so well in the beginning? Honestly, his first intention was to use Cheng Shifei as a mark, to bind himself a steady meal ticket.

But after getting to know him, Old Li discovered that, though Cheng Shifei was mischievous and sometimes had a bit of a scheming mind, his heart was still kind; moreover, Cheng suited Old Li’s temperament.

Gradually, Old Li’s intentions changed. He truly came to treat Cheng Shifei as a son—not for any ulterior motive, but simply so that, when his own time came, someone might tend to him, and when he died, someone would buy him a coffin and bury him, someone who would kneel at his grave.

Who could have foreseen that, the one day Old Li failed to look after him, Cheng Shifei—the foolish boy—would fall into a trap and be sold into the palace as a eunuch?

Even more unexpected, when Old Li was desperately searching for word of Cheng Shifei, the boy suddenly reappeared. Not only had he avoided becoming a eunuch, he had even formed ties with those in power.

Of course, Old Li didn’t know this at first; but while searching for Cheng Shifei, he had borrowed money left and right.

He was a man without house or land—how could he ever repay it?

So, Old Li returned to his old ways, hoping to win some money back at the gambling dens. But luck was not with him, and the more he gambled, the more he lost, until his debts became astronomical.

It was around then that he met Cheng Shifei again and, through some cajoling, learned the true identity of Cheng’s little companion—it was none other than the emperor’s own sister, Princess Yunluo.

This revelation delighted Old Li. Not only could he pay off his debts, the promise of a life of luxury now seemed within reach.

But he rejoiced too soon. When they first met, Cheng Shifei did give Old Li a large sum, enough to settle his debts and still have plenty left over.

However, apart from that one meeting, Old Li would go ten days, half a month without seeing Cheng Shifei; later, even half a year would pass without an encounter.

He knew Cheng Shifei’s status had changed. The dwindling meetings proved as much—he was no longer the street urchin trailing behind Old Li.

The sum he’d received from Cheng Shifei more than repaid any favor ten times over, yet Old Li could not help feeling unsettled. It wasn’t aimed at Cheng Shifei; it was just a knot in his own heart he couldn’t untangle.

Everything changed the day Old Li was caught cheating in a gambling den, about to be beaten, when out of nowhere, Cheng Shifei appeared. Like a hero from a tale, single-handedly, in the time it took to drink half a cup of tea, he subdued everyone there.

Not only were the gamblers stunned; Old Li was too.

At that moment, Old Li stood right behind Cheng Shifei, close enough to touch him, yet felt as if the man before him was a stranger, impossibly distant.

It was then that Old Li’s dream of relying on Cheng Shifei for his old age and sharing in his future glory was shattered. They no longer belonged to the same world.

From that day on, Old Li was deeply shaken and fell into a lasting gloom, until one day, he came to a realization.

A man must have either wealth or power. Only by standing at the top can he be regarded as truly human; otherwise, he is no better than a beast.

With this new understanding, Old Li looked back at his past thirty-odd years and felt nothing but disgust. In that moment, he swore to himself that he would live again, and this time, he would live like a real man!

He wanted to live long enough to meet Cheng Shifei again, to stand tall and scold him as a father would his son.

Vows are easy to make, but far harder to fulfill.

After much thought, Old Li knew there was only one place where he could realize this ambition: the imperial palace.

But he had no scholarly learning, no martial skill, no money, and no talent. There was only one way in: to become a eunuch.

After pondering for nearly half a month, Old Li finally made up his mind. But he didn’t immediately seek a way into the palace. Instead, he left the capital, went to the countryside, and bought himself a wife.

He worked tirelessly, plowing and planting, and after four months, his purchased wife’s belly finally showed signs of pregnancy.

Old Li didn’t even wait for the child to be born. He handed his wife a letter of divorce and all his savings, saying to her,

“This money is enough for you and our child to live out your days in peace. If you ever want a man, go somewhere no one knows you and say I’m dead. With your looks, there’ll be someone who’ll want you.

“If you’re willing to stay a widow for my sake, I thank you—consider it my good fortune. But I make no demands of you; do whatever makes you happy. There is one thing, though: the Li family must have an heir in this world. You must give birth to this child and raise it well. If anything happens to the child and I find out, I’ll come back and skin you alive!”

Having said that, Old Li planted a fierce kiss on his bewildered wife’s face, then, without a backward glance, set off alone for the capital.