Chapter 147: Transformers (Please Subscribe, Please Support)

Hu Yifei shot a glare at Xiao Xie and Zhanbo, complaining, “Nowadays, those picky buyers always leave bad reviews for no reason. Look at this one—‘Why are your walnuts different from others’?”

“Let me see, this username looks familiar… ‘Handsome and Hacked’?” Xiao Xie leaned over to Yifei’s computer, curiosity in his voice.

“Isn’t that Mr. Zeng’s username?!” Lu Zhanbo suddenly clapped his hands as the memory came to him.

“That wretched Zeng!” Hu Yifei ground her teeth, her voice full of resentment at the mention of him.

“I have a feeling Mr. Zeng is in for it,” Xiao Xie said, schadenfreude flickering in his eyes.

“Yifei, don’t get worked up just yet, let’s keep reading!” Chen Meijia hurried to change the subject, fearing that otherwise, Hu Yifei might storm off to find Zeng Xiaoxian and beat him up on the spot.

So Meijia and Zhanbo took turns reading each review. With every line, Hu Yifei grew more irate, until finally, Meijia read out a positive comment that slightly soothed Yifei’s mood—alas, that buyer had posted their review on the wrong shop.

“I can’t help but pity Mr. Zeng,” Xiao Xie shook his head and sighed. “With so many bad reviews, Hu Yifei’s bound to vent all her anger on Zeng Xiaoxian. Let’s have a moment of silence for him.”

“Give up, sis. You’re not cut out for business,” Zhanbo said with a helpless shake of his head.

“Says who!” Hu Yifei retorted indignantly. She was fiercely competitive by nature, and nothing irked her more than being told she wasn’t good enough—especially by men. “I’m already working on a solution!”

With that, Hu Yifei produced a bottle of Indian ‘Love at First Sight’ incense, pitching it with such convincing flair that both Zhanbo and Meijia were left dumbfounded.

At that moment, Guan Gu strode in, his face alight with excitement. “Xiao Xie, you’re back! Guess who just called me?”

“Umm… Namie Amuro?” Meijia guessed hesitantly. When Guan Gu shook his head, she tried again, “Detective Conan?”

“Meijia, Conan’s a manga character. You’ve got too wild an imagination.” Zhanbo shook his head, and, sure of himself, said, “I bet it’s Doraemon!”

“Pfft! Zhanbo, Doraemon’s a manga character too!” Xiao Xie wiped the drink he’d just sprayed, exasperated. “Can you try having a normal train of thought for once?”

“Actually, Zhanbo’s guess was close. It was Doraemon’s publishing company—they want to buy my new manga!” Guan Gu announced, brimming with excitement.

“Congratulations, Guan Gu!” everyone chorused at once.

Guan Gu then gratefully took Meijia’s hand, making her beam with happiness. Just as in the original story, Meijia harbored a secret crush on him. It wasn’t that she disliked Xiao Xie—she simply knew they came from different worlds. Friendship was fine, but romance? Better not. If Xiao Xie’s girlfriend wasn’t exceptional enough, his fans would tear her to shreds. So, just like on TV, Meijia kept her feelings for Guan Gu.

Before Meijia could bask in her joy, Guan Gu announced his second dream—that he hoped to fall in love. Meijia gazed at him hopefully, only to be cut down by his blunt words: she “lacked femininity.”

“Tell me, Guan Gu, the girlfriend you want—should she have long, wavy hair?” Xiao Xie asked, grinning.

“Long, wavy hair? Lots of people fit that description,” Hu Yifei asked, feigning innocence.

“No, that’s three separate criteria: long hair, big waves, and… wild!” Xiao Xie clarified with a shake of his head.

“Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!” Zhanbo exclaimed in awe at Xiao Xie’s play on words.

Hu Yifei and Meijia both looked at Xiao Xie with utter disdain.

“Shallow!” Yifei scoffed, Meijia nodding in agreement.

“According to surveys, that’s what most men look for in a girlfriend. Ask Zhanbo if you don’t believe me,” Xiao Xie shrugged.

Both Yifei and Meijia fixed Zhanbo with a piercing stare. After a long hesitation, he finally admitted, “Alright, Xiao Xie’s right.”

“Shallow!” Yifei and Meijia cried in unison.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” Xiao Xie clucked, glancing at Yifei and Meijia’s chests as he shook his head.

“Xiao Xie!” Hu Yifei and Chen Meijia shouted at once, hurling throw pillows at him.

“I’ve got something to do, I’ll leave you to it,” Guan Gu said, quickly slipping away. He thought to himself that it was wise not to linger in a war zone.

No sooner had he left than Zhanbo grabbed his arm, looking up hopefully, “Guan Gu, next time you meet Doraemon’s creator, could you tell him I’d love to take a photo with his son?”

“Just one!” Even as Guan Gu gave him a speechless look, Zhanbo thought for a moment—at the very least, he had to get a photo.

Xiao Xie interjected, “Doraemon’s creator is just the one who draws the manga, it’s an honorific title. Doraemon is a fictional character! There’s no such thing as a real, living Doraemon, you idiot!”

Zhanbo considered this, then shook his head firmly. “No, if this world has Iron Man and Ultraman, then surely there’s a Doraemon too!”

With that, he went off pestering Guan Gu again.

Xiao Xie could only spread his hands helplessly. “You make such a persuasive argument, I can’t even refute it.”

Catching Guan Gu’s pleading look, Xiao Xie returned it with a “good luck” glance and then left for the Love Apartment.

After Zeng Xiaoxian had kissed Hu Yifei in a panic to avoid Laura’s forced marriage proposal and then moved out of the apartment in fright, Xiao Xie had moved his things into Room 1. When Zeng Xiaoxian returned to Love Apartment, he took up residence in Room 3602.

“Wanyu, what’s wrong?” Xiao Xie asked as soon as he entered the apartment, spotting Wanyu staring dazedly at an Optimus Prime toy. “By the way, how come you’re into this kind of thing?”

“You’re back, Xiao Xie!” Wanyu greeted him with surprise, then looked at the toy in her hand with resignation. “This was a gift from Zhanbo today.”

“Classic Zhanbo,” Xiao Xie muttered, the corners of his mouth twitching. He was long accustomed to Lu Zhanbo’s peculiar logic, but it still amazed him every time.

“Zhanbo said it’s very valuable,” Wanyu said, gazing at the Optimus Prime with a troubled look. Suddenly, Wanyu remembered her rent was due, glanced at the toy, and asked Xiao Xie, “Do you think this is worth any money?”

“To most people, probably not. But to someone like Zhanbo, it must be priceless,” Xiao Xie replied after a moment’s thought. He recalled that in the TV series, Lu Zhanbo had spent over ten thousand yuan on this very Optimus Prime, and could only chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t bring much money when I moved out, and Daddy froze all my cards. I haven’t found a job yet, and the rent’s due soon, so I was thinking of selling it,” Lin Wanyu nodded, explaining her predicament.

Xiao Xie looked at the excited Wanyu and pointed at the Optimus Prime in her hand. “By the way, do you know what this is called?”

“Of course! That’s Iron Man!” Wanyu replied with pride.

“It’s called Transformers,” Xiao Xie corrected her, sweating a little. She still didn’t know it was called Transformers?

“Transformers? Isn’t that Iron Man?” Wanyu frowned in confusion. “Isn’t King Kong that giant gorilla who climbs to the rooftop and fights planes?”

“They’re two different things. The plane-fighting one is a giant gorilla, but this one’s a robot that can transform into a car and stuff,” Xiao Xie explained, chuckling. Now he understood why Zhanbo and Lin Wanyu ended up together—both had such childlike personalities.

“Wanyu, if you’re short on cash, I’ll just waive your rent. No big deal,” Xiao Xie offered.

“Thank you, Xiao Xie, but there’s no need. I’d rather be self-reliant. I can’t trouble you like that,” Wanyu shook her head earnestly, then asked, “Xiao Xie, do you know where I could sell this toy?”

Xiao Xie smiled. “I remember Mr. Zeng sells stuff online, too. Why don’t you ask him to help you sell this Optimus Prime?”

Wanyu nodded, packed Optimus Prime in her bag, and hurried off to find Zeng Xiaoxian.

Watching her dash away, Xiao Xie shook his head with a smile. Most likely, that Transformer would end up right back with Zhanbo, who’d pay a high price for it just to give it to Wanyu again.