Chapter 25: Passion! Is! Burning! [Seeking Monthly Tickets]

[It’s here! It’s finally here!]
[The C-list hack, your grandfather is here!]
[Pay for what you did to Qianbao!]
[Hope the hack drops dead today!]
[Wait, what are these plastic torture devices?]

The number of viewers in the livestream was skyrocketing. Netizens who had been waiting with bated breath had set alarms for their day off just to watch the stream, but upon seeing the screen, they were immediately captivated by the novel design of the acupressure mats.

"I’ve truly never seen anyone run on these before," Deng Chao remarked, observing them with curiosity.

Baby looked fragile. "The first row isn't so bad, but those bamboo-shoot shapes near the stairs look terrifying! And the further back you go, the denser those sharp spikes get. It’s a little scary!"

Members of each team were chatting. Reba looked at Lv Ming and a bewildered Wang Baoqiang, explaining, "I have these at home. Walking on them is actually quite comfortable; it helps promote blood circulation!"

Upon hearing this, Wang Baoqiang stepped onto one with his shoes on. "I don’t feel anything."

"The rules say you have to go barefoot."

"Oh, let me try again then."

Abandoning all image, Wang Baoqiang ripped off his shoes and socks and stepped boldly onto the mat. The next second, a piercing shriek echoed through the air: "AWOOO!!!"

[!!!]
[Is it really that painful?]
[I’m stunned. Did he really just turn into a living meme from the shock?!]
[You’re an action star, a martial arts icon—are you really this delicate?]

"It hurts, it hurts so much, it’s killing me!" Wang Baoqiang hopped and skipped around, hurriedly blowing on his slightly reddened soles.

The director, watching from the side, saw that the effect had met his expectations and broke into a sinister smile.

Because the viewership of the *Running Man* livestream had hit an all-time high in the history of domestic variety shows, it had become the top priority for both the Zhejiang TV station and iQIYI. To further highlight the program’s content, the production team wasn't about to coddle delicate celebrities like other shows by softening the difficulty, which often resulted in a watered-down, "playing house" feel.

For this episode, they had worked overnight to upgrade the mats, making them larger, thicker, and more densely packed!

To ensure the guests felt every bit of the sensation, the production team mandated that everyone go barefoot—not even socks were allowed. Under these restrictions, even the toughest guy would have to let out a scream!

As all three teams took off their socks and prepared themselves, Teacher Huang and Wu Qian, who were back at full strength and brimming with mischief, began their antics.

Lv Ming was standing at the edge of the track observing when he suddenly felt his center of gravity shift. He lunged forward, face-planting onto the acupressure mat. The sharp, exhilarating pain made him gasp as he groaned, "Eh heh, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo..."

[???]
[Is he actually enjoying this?!]
[I can’t tell if the hack is in pain or pleasure. If it’s pain, please intensify it; if he’s enjoying it, stop immediately!]
[The haters really can’t stand to see him having a good time.]

Lv Ming rolled around on the mat, flipped over, and ignored the smirking members, turning to Wu Qian to settle the score: "Qianbao, you little schemer, using public office for personal revenge, huh?!"

Wu Qian sneered, "I’m not as shameless as you!"

"Old Huang," Lv Ming glanced to the side.

Teacher Huang sneered. "No manners, you don't even call me 'Teacher' anymore?"

"Teacher, you look like a total old fox to me!" Lv Ming narrowed his eyes. "Why did you push me?"

Teacher Huang hummed dismissively. "Do I look like that kind of person to you?"

With no evidence, Lv Ming had to let it go. However, Reba stood beside him and quietly pointed in Teacher Huang's direction. Lv Ming gave an "OK" gesture, indicating he understood.

After witnessing Lv Ming’s exaggerated reaction, the others began to cautiously test the hard, bumpy little bamboo-shoot spikes.

While everyone was busy, Lv Ming pulled a classic flat bottle of white liquor from his pocket, unscrewed the cap, and took a swig.

[Ding! Host detected drinking 'Erguotou'. 'Charisma' +2!]

Drinking the fiery liquor in the cool morning breeze, Lv Ming felt refreshed and energized, as if he had an endless supply of strength!

[Drinking first thing in the morning?]
[Typical hack!]
[The show just started; does he have zero respect for the production team?!]
[You haven't been following him for long, have you? If he cared about the production team, he wouldn't have scared off their exclusive sponsor by drinking the other day.]
[@Erguotou, pay up!]
[Why does he seem different today? His profile while quietly drinking is actually kind of handsome!]
[You’re right, there’s a difference. Before, he was just a beautiful, useless vase. Now he has an upscale air about him. Even though it’s ten-yuan cheap liquor, he drinks it like it’s fine champagne—and mind you, this is the cheap stuff that even the street cleaners turn their noses up at.]
[That face is so scene-stealing. If he just stayed a beautiful, silent man, I’d feel inferior just looking at him. The idol filter is maxed out!]
[Too bad it’s a waste of a pretty face. Once he opens his mouth, any sense of distance vanishes!]

[I beg you, stop talking!]

The "Ming-haters" had felt a sliver of satisfaction seeing the hack suffer, but then the comments section was flooded with praise for his looks. Instantly, countless haters from all over the country felt a surge of rage:

[What’s there to brag about for a sycophant?]
[His looks are just average. His fans are losing their dignity trying to whitewash him!]
[Can he sing? Can he deliver lines? Can he act? If he wasn't always trending for being hated, do you think any show would invite him as a guest? Besides grandstanding, what can he actually do?!]
[He’s just a beautiful clown!]
[Sycophants get nothing in the end. Those who hype him up will pay for it!]

After the others had tested the course, everyone realized this was going to be a tough battle. The playful expressions vanished instantly.

Teacher Huang leaned on his seniority to negotiate with the director: "Isn't the intensity of these mats a bit too high? We just got out of the hospital; is it really appropriate to jump into such an intense project so early in the morning?"

"Exactly! Stepping barefoot on these uneven particles is really painful!" Wu Qian also felt it was unreasonable. "For our safety, let's swap them out!"

He had stepped on them earlier, and the tingling sensation had stimulated his prostate so intensely that if he hadn't held it in, he might have wet himself right then and there!

"Yeah, the production team is being so thoughtless!" Lv Ming chimed in to stir the pot.

Teacher Huang: "?"
Wu Qian: "?"

The two were surprised, and the others wore subtle expressions. Given the history and conflict between the three, shouldn't they be wishing for each other's demise? It was quite rare to see them in agreement!

"Have you ever put yourselves in Teacher Huang's shoes?" Lv Ming asked pointedly. Teacher Huang looked pleased, but then Lv Ming shifted his tone: "Teacher Huang is already at the age where half of him is in the grave! Cerebral thrombosis, high blood pressure, myocardial infarction, diabetes—do you understand the risk coefficients of a 'late-life grand slam'?"

"If you set up such a stimulating game, and Teacher Huang accidentally has a stroke, rolls his eyes, kicks the bucket, and drops dead on the mat, who's going to take responsibility?!"

"Especially since there isn't even a coffin shop nearby. It’s very inconvenient."

Director: "..."
Other members: "..."

[God, the 'no coffin shop' comment.]
[Did you hear that? Is that even human?]
[I’ve always acknowledged the hack’s aggressiveness.]
[This is the familiar hack we know.]
[Teacher Huang: F*ck you, you’re very considerate, aren't you!]

The director pinched his own thigh, struggling not to laugh. He had naively thought for a second that the hack was actually standing with Teacher Huang, but it turned out his own director's brain was the one with the problem.

"Answer me!"
"Look in my eyes!"
"Who's responsible for it?!"
"..." God knows why a production director was being rendered speechless by a guest.

Teacher Huang said coldly: "You!"

"Teacher Huang, stop it, I'm fighting for your rights!" Lv Ming waved his hand.

Teacher Huang’s expression was indifferent: "Who asked you to fight for them? We'll go with this intensity! My physical fitness—is that something for others to question? Is it for a washed-up, sycophantic 'top-tier' celebrity like you to question?!"

The haters, seeing Teacher Huang’s aggression rise, immediately shouted:
[Fight! Fight! Fight!]

"..." Lv Ming looked at Wu Qian: "Qianbao, you’re a bit weak..."

Wu Qian roared: "You're the one who's weak! I run five kilometers every single morning!"

"No, I heard that the soles of the feet have many pressure points, including the kidney reflex zone. If you run and accidentally pee yourself, who's taking the blame?"

"You're the one taking the blame, you f*cker!" Wu Qian was furious. "Is that even your business?!"

"Enough, let's start!" Teacher Huang decided he had to act tough. He was the first to step onto the mat. His expression, which had been "facing death with courage," froze, but he quickly forced a smile: "Boring, no pressure at all!"

Lv Ming gave a silent thumbs up: "Teacher Huang is truly Teacher Huang. I admire you!"

"Young man, watch and learn!" Teacher Huang clasped his hands behind his back, looking enigmatic: "The bridges your Teacher has crossed are longer than the roads you've walked!"

"Got it!"

On the mat, Chao Ge, Teacher Huang, and Baby—all wearing red—began discussing the order.

The course was divided into three segments. The first had little difficulty, save for the bamboo-shoot-laden platforms that increased in height as they approached the next relay point. Members had to use their hands to support themselves on the spikes and flip over in an "X" shape; the inertia of going up and down would significantly increase the impact on their soles.

This hurdle was clearly too much for Baby, so Huang and Deng decided to let her take the second leg.

The second leg had larger, thicker spikes and a steel-wire tunnel they had to crawl through. As for the final stage, the spikes were even sharper, and they had to climb high platforms and jump to grab a hanging cookie. Teacher Huang, after one glance at the height of the bar, immediately handed the responsibility to Deng Chao.

With the order set, the director blew the whistle—the timer started!

They had three minutes to reach the finish line.

Teacher Huang ran barefoot, but the sharp pain from the mats turned his calm face into a grimace within a second: "Ahhh, it hurts, it hurts so much!!"

He lifted his legs high, and his pace slowed immediately.

The Huang team trio was shouting encouragement!

Just then, Lv Ming pulled a megaphone out of nowhere and started shouting with dramatic flair:

"He’s here! He’s here! He’s walking with light, nimble steps! The person sprinting toward us is the most outstanding 'Breaking Bad' chemist in the history of entertainment! He was the creator of the 'poisonous long beans,' the founder of the 'mushroom stew,' and the witness to the 'nine-turn intestine'! Netizens affectionately call him 'Pharmacist Huang' to celebrate his eight great contributions to the industry!"

Teacher Huang: "???"
Other members: "???"
The director looked around in alarm: "When did my megaphone end up in his hands?!"

"You chatterbox! Shut up!" Teacher Huang glared at the hack making noise on the sidelines. He couldn't help but speed up, forgetting to even shout in pain.

Seeing Teacher Huang sprint, Lv Ming shouted even harder into the megaphone:

"Fifty years old—what a beautiful age to strive and push forward!"

"Look at him, aged and frail, yet his passion remains! Look at his wrinkled skin, yet his blood boils with vigor!"

"Cerebral thrombosis cannot tie down Teacher Huang's passion for life! High blood pressure cannot suppress Teacher Huang's yearning for the future! Even if a myocardial infarction could strike at any moment, Teacher Huang still charges forward!"

"Who says there are no warriors among the elderly? Who says the elders lack fire in their blood?!"

"At this very moment, all eyes are on Teacher Huang! The eyes of the entire nation are focused on Teacher Huang!"

"The representative of the elderly 'Running Man' team carries an indomitable spirit! He treats life and death lightly, he doesn't accept defeat, he bravely says no to the years and gives a peace sign to his dreams!"

"Under the glow of the morning sun, Teacher Huang's face is slightly blurred, and I seem to see—"

"PASSION! BURNING!"

"..."

Lv Ming’s urgent, enthusiastic shouting echoed through West Lake Square via the megaphone.

Teacher Huang was still roaring in pain on the mats, but Baby, waiting at the second leg, had collapsed onto the ground with laughter, and Deng Chao at the third leg was rolling on the floor, clutching his stomach in hysterics!

"Hahahaha!"

The laughter became contagious, spreading through the crowd.

In the distance, the Blue Team and the Huang Team were all amused by Lv Ming’s sudden, passionate commentary. The production staff, led by the director, were laughing so hard they couldn't catch their breath. The entire square was filled with uproarious laughter.

The director pointed at Lv Ming, laughing until he wheezed: "He... he's amazing!"

[Hahahaha *wheeze*!]
[God, 'fifty is the age to strive'—are you trying to kill me?]
[It’s... it’s burning!]
[This is even more epic than Naruto!]
[It got me so fired up I threw my phone at the wall and smashed it. You owe me a phone!]
[I can't, I'm dying of laughter!]
[The hack is a walking variety show effect, a natural-born variety god!]
[Still calling him a hack? Call him Top-Tier Brother!]
[The fame is fake, but the joy is real!]
[Passion is burning! (voice crack)]
[He alone has brought this variety show to a level it has never reached before!]

The comments were in an uproar.

In the joyous atmosphere, the haters were uncharacteristically silent, likely because they were laughing just as hard behind their screens.

Seeing his thoughtful commentary being drowned out by the waves of laughter, Lv Ming prepared to turn up the volume to cheer for Teacher Huang again, but he saw Teacher Huang, with his face twisted in a grimace, looking at him and mouthing a familiar phrase.

"Teacher Huang, the wind is too loud, I can't hear you! What did you say?!"

"F*ck you! F*ck you! F*ck you! F*ck you!" the sprinting Teacher Huang shouted in agitation.

But because he was too focused on Lv Ming, he forgot to look at the obstacle ahead. With a loud *thud*, he slammed into the waist-high platform, tripped, did a somersault, and landed heavily on the mat on the other side, seeing stars and twitching in pain!

"Ahhhhhhh!"